So I go back to court with the ex and we're sent to mediation. The mediator says we're not behaving well. No shit, sherlock; we hate eachother. Then he tells us we're splitting daycare costs (post school care). My ex is bullshit. I just blink at her. I'm paying child support. LOTS OF IT. Nearly a grand a month - way more than I can afford. What does this pay for if not after school care? Food, water, shelter? Yes. But my ex is going to live somewhere ANYWAY. She lives with someone else so she splits rent with him. Food and water don't cost $1,000/month. So what does it pay for? This is every divorced husband or boyfriend's question for the past 20 years. WHAT THE FUCK?
The answer? That's easy of course. It goes to my 10 year-past ex-girlfriend. Its palimony. You can't give alimony to someone you were never married to.
Is this right?
Give me a fucking break.
Of course not. If it were, then you would all be happy to have her PAY ME palimony to the tune of a grand a month if I had custody of our son. Can you picture a grown man receiving $1k a month from his ex-girlfriend for .... "expenses" related to a child!?!?! No. No one can. So this rule is just for ladies. Its absurd and just plain financial rape, pure and simple.
My ex actually has a slightly more just view than the state. How messed up is that?
Her view is that I take my son two days a week (plus Sat.), so on those days I'm responsible for any care for him. Reasonable, really. But then that suggests, again, I'm paying support for my son for 5 days per week. That's $1k/week for 20 days care, or $50/day. For one 10 year old boy? $50/day? He doesn't eat 50 dollars a WEEK in food and water! For a 7 day week that's $350 dollars. Could you take 350 PER WEEK out of your paycheck dear reader and still live ANY kind of lifestyle!?!?!?
Yeah.
Me neither.
The state's view is that aftercare is some kind of magical "extra" expense not covered by child support. Again, THEN WHAT DOES CHILD SUPPORT COVER?!?!?! None of my friends, not even the women understand this. AT ALL. They keep asking me over and over again: what exactly are you paying for? I tell them my ex-girlfriend from 10 years ago. They blink at me while the transmission wheels in their head roar like a car in neutral with the gas pedal to the floor.
I blink back.
Yeah.
So the state says activities, out of pocket medical expense and daycare are all split. Um, I pay ALL of my son's ONE activity (his mother says she's REALLY thinking HARD about signing him up for music lessons), and I pay ALL of his health insurance which happens every month and goes up quarterly, whether he has a medical problem or not. I'd squeal in delight like a pig if she paid all his medical insurance and I paid ALL of the costs for whatever the insurance didn't pick up - I'd be saving thousands a year. My ex doesn't do math like that - on a net basis, that is. Neither does the state of Massachusetts. Health insurance for my son is another thing I pay that doesn't count; I have to pay half of all medical expenses not covered by the insurance. Daycare should be covered by my child support - ITS SUPPORT-FOR-THE-CHILD. But the state puts in on a separate line on the form and says FUCK YOU, its extra. My remedy? Nothing. I get butt-reamed. That's all.
Next the Dept. of Revenue fucks me. You see child support rates were indiscriminately and magically raised, out of the blue 2 years ago. So my ex told them I'm rich (HOW could I be?), based on nothing but a suspicion that I was not poor. So now the DOR will go through my entire financial life from top to bottom and claim since my salary is higher and they are now "allowed" by the KILLER state of MA to take more of my money, then they will. My child support could nearly double. What does it go to? Not even after-school day care.
As my own mother said: This is the point when most men just LEAVE.
My poor son.
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