Thursday, January 26, 2012

Pity: Two Cases

Its hard to ever pity anyone. Even divorced dads - yeah, that's right, I said it. Men who get divorced have SOME hand in the dissolution of things, no matter how small; although sometimes its nothing more than failing to sooth a woman who should be on anti-depressants or else trying to love a woman who is truly mentally unstable.

But I will give you two other examples of people you should NEVER pity: both women.

Case #1

I was in a bar one night, a long time ago. I didn't feel like talking to any girls. It was a weeknight. I was alone. I was cruising finance stories and drinking a beer and watching a baseball game. There were a few guys in the bar - again, mostly to watch the game and be alone with their beer and/or buddies. There may have been girls in there; I'm not sure. But at one point two girls did enter. They weren't very attractive. One of them was cute, but not really my type - everyone has a type. I was sitting in-between two empty seats and one was sitting, the other standing. After 10 minutes I noticed and I grumbled... "Does your friend want to sit - I'll slide over" to the half-cute one, who was dressed like she was cruising for guys. She seemed a bit stunned and stuttered something back. I repeated what I said. She basically accepted after using 15 sentences to do so. I went back to watching the game and reading my articles on my smart phone. I couldn't care less about this girl. I was just being quasi-polite. As I'm watching the game I can feel the girl looking at me out of the corner of her eye and shifting her body so that its facing me. I frowned. She looked at her lap, chatted to her friend and tilted her head towards me - no, this was not my imagination. I was a little concerned I'd have to be rude if she tried to talk to me.

More guys came into the bar. Pairs. At some point a tall, relatively well dressed (business clothes), clean cut man walks down the bar and politely introduces himself and offers to buy both girls a drink. The girl I was just talking to refuses. The one that wasn't that cute and dressed up to meet men. That one. I wanted to tell her to shut-up and accept, the guy looked like a nice, well-earning gentlemen. I was in jeans and a designer t-shirt with longish hair I had not done much with that day. I had not shaved. I looked like the last guy you'd want to see your daughter with.

Case #2

My ex and I were in court yesterday as she filed a motion for the Department of Revenue to increase her child support. Her motion said that I make more money and can afford more support - as if simply making more money entitled her to more money - if I can't keep the money I make, why am I trying to make it? Are you listening to this gentlemen?!?!?! Simply working to make money for myself and trying to live a middle class existence in what is the 3rd or 4th most expensive city in the U.S. is enough to justify giving more of what I make to my ex-girlfriend of 10 years. Her salary is all but irrelevant as the "guidelines" call for me to pay 85% of what my son costs per week, which the D.O.R. claims is $444 (people couldn't afford kids if they cost $444/week each).

My ex graduated from college with a 3.8 GPA. She was in the honors program. She got a job temping the typical "admin assistant" after college and was promoted to Proposal Writer while also managing the girl who took her old job. Her old job her company turned into a full-time admin role instead of a temporary one because my ex did such a tremendous job in her role of administration support. After assuming her new job on a trial basis and doing it for 4 months, well, of course, she demanded a proper salary boost and received one up to 55k. Then she became furious. Why? Because she found an offer letter that was made to her old boss (whose job she just took) for $75k/year. Her boss told her she would need more experience and then her salary would likewise increase. What did she do? We split up and she quit her job. Then she took a job as a part-time Yoga instructor and was fired from that job for asking a few simple basic questions (it was the Dahn Yoga/Cult). Then she went to school for Message Therapy and became a Message Therapist.

She makes $25,000/year with no benefits. She claims she works 4 days a week, but her online profile claims she works Monday, Wednesday and every other Friday. She works part time every day and sometimes part time on Sat.. Even though my son is in school until 3, she only works afternoons. My son confirms the same. She's divorced from one man and has been co-habitating with some guy, 4 years her junior (and as dumb as a box of rocks). She receives alimony from her ex-husband, lives off her live-in man who is a manager at Whole Foods making $70k a year and shakes me down for "child support" in the amount of $16,800/year TAX-FREE. She lives in an $2k/month apartment in the middle of Cambridge, MA.

That brings her household income to $112,800 ($70k + $25k + $16.8k), but that doesn't include the alimony she receives. My household income is 1/3rd that amount after paying child support to her. If she has simply worked her old job and taken 2% raises every year she'd be making 60, 65k a year and living on $135k a year household income and wouldn't need one dime from me or anyone else. She simply chose to follow a different path.

She FIRMLY believes herself to be some kind of "victim."

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