MISUNDERSTANDING is the word you are looking for.
And its the reason why the author writes for Cracked.com and isn't practicing law.
http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1758-5-things-i-learned-committing-campus-sexual-assault.html
There's another term apparently no one outside of law school knows - "mens rea," its latin. And it means you have to INTEND to commit a wrong when you do it. Its the difference between an accident and a crime.
Ever play sports? Well when you stick your elbow out when playing hockey and someone falls into it, its not a penalty. But if someone nears you and you see them and then jab them in the ribs with your elbow, intentionally, its clearly a penalty. Players who try to blur this line are called "dirty" and "scumbag."
The same rule applies in the legal system under which you live. If a man is flirting with a girl all night (slapping her butt? Not really just-friends stuff, is it?), and then later starts to take a few liberties touching her as she's LYING ON HIM, pauses, hears no rebuke, and continues, then he's not really a rapist, is he? Is he overstepping his bounds? Perhaps. But he's not trying to hurt her and I would PRESUME (call me a monster if you wish) that she has a mouth that works, right? So she can speak up AT. ANY. TIME. As women have down for 3 millenia. Or are you quiet, foolish, mousey little dolls too sweet and innocent to possibly object to the caveman you have placed yourself with?
Please.
That's an insult to women everywhere. If you can't speak up ladies, DON'T BE WITH A MAN, NOT EVER. 95% of men out there want to PLEASE you physically, not hurt you. But young men are fairly awkward in attempting this. He should've spoken up, sure, but its not uncommon for first encounters to be quite silent. Again, men have always labored under the impression that unwanted advances are met with a push, slap, harsh word, some sort of objection. Silence? Doesn't exactly say "this is horrible. stop now." I have literally been told "stop" - and it meant stop one kind of touching (but don't stop altogether), and no, I'm not confused on that, I confirmed it. This can happen. Everyone's playing the situation by ear.
In an age where women are as educated, rich, and powerful as they have ever been, why on earth would men suddenly expect them to turn into a silent mouse who can't find the right words!?!?!?!
Does that make sense to you? It doesn't to me. I'm not the only one who has figured it out, as many women also blame women in these fuzzy-no-harm-intended-cases. No, these "blaming women" are not brainwashed, THEY'RE JUST NOT NAIVE. By the way that's a whole another volume of articles - the difference between naive women and innocent ones - men love innocent women, but are often astounded by how naive they are - this stark difference just adds dynamite to the sparking gas can of male-female relations.
Now in this case, the girl simply fell asleep - but she woke up, halfway through and both of them were still clothed, no one was pregnant, so no real harm was done save her embarrassment and the awkwardness of it all. Further evidence of no wrong doing - she didn't report the incident until days later. Odds are she didn't know how she felt about the whole thing. Young women can be pretty dense too. She was having fun and just ran with it. The moron guy (we're all morons at that age) did not tenderly contact her afterward and say I adore you, I want you, I need to be with you, etc. as he too was embarrassed, and missing this key declaration, the girl felt understandably used in all likelihood - not a pleasant feeling. So did she tell him he tresspassed? No. She did a far more reasonable thing - she accused him of an actual crime. Brilliant, sweetie.
Men don't continue with touching when at first it doesn't work - THEY THINK THEY MERELY NEED TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT IN ORDER TO STIMULATE YOU, LADIES.
Well the crime this poor boy was accused of is bunk from moment 1 and she knows it. Because the man didn't intend to hurt her at all. He had no idea she was asleep and in fact takes responsibility and blames himself. These two are simply incredibly young and naive and didn't communicate when they needed to. He didn't hurt her at all and regrets the entire incident - not exactly the mark of a guilty mind.
He intended no harm and mostly she received no harm. Oh and what do you know, alcohol was involved.
Go figure.
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