Monday, February 25, 2013

Absurd Shit - AGAIN

Listen to this girl. I hesitate to call her a "woman" because she reveals herself to be SO OBVIOUSLY IMMATURE AND CHILDISH.

Listen to this "romantic idealism" of marriage. Its HYSTERICAL.

Married people will tell you: you fall IN AND OUT OF LOVE during marriage. Marriage is not PRINCESSES AND FAIRIES! IT IS HARD WORK! And at many times, it will feel like you have a ROOMMATE!

THIS. IS. MARRIAGE! This is why asian cultures often marry arranged. They understand that passionate LOVE will fade, and that often all that is left, is an agreement. SUCH IS LIFE. They learn to be happy within that framework; westerners think they can be happy by simply changing their mind 15 times until they "get it right." Both sides have a point; but westerners simply screw up far too often and besides; do YOU, with total financial destruction on the line, REALLY WANT TO RISK MARRYING SOMEONE WHO WILL DIVORCE YOU IN A HEARTBEAT after a little breakdown of passion and romance!?!?!?

Give me a break.

The response from "Meredith" is again, LAME. In marriage, there is no "me," there is US. All this girl below can talk about is what she wants. Hey honey START ASKING YOUR MAN WHAT HE WANTS; say Hey, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? And when he names something you can do, DO IT. THEN, AND ONLY THEN, ASK if you can have something back, like traveling more. THIS HAS THE BEST CHANCE OF WORKING. You want to start off with "I NEED THIS OR WE'RE GETTING DIVORCED!?!?!?!"

THEN YOU NEVER SHOULD'VE GOTTEN MARRIED; BEING SELFISH IS FOR SINGLE PEOPLE, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!!!

From Boston.com's love letters:

Thanks to everyone who came out Friday night.

See you tonight for the "Casablanca" screening at Theatre 1, where I'm sure people will ask Ty Burr about "Argo" ....

Q:Meredith, I have less of a relationship question and more of a logistical one. I am wondering how to break up with someone.
My husband and I have been married for less than 5 years. He is my best friend. We've been together for a very long time and I can't imagine life without him in it. That being said, while I love him ... I'm not in love with him anymore. We started dating pretty young (early 20s; we're in our early 30s now) and I have felt myself wondering more and more what else is out there for me. I also don't feel as though either of us is trying particularly hard in our relationship, and we're not bringing out the best in each other like we used to do. We both have had our struggles in the past and have been there for each other, but I simply don't feel any spark. I don't think it is fair to him for me to stay in a marriage I am not 100% emotionally invested in anymore.
A secondary issue in our marriage is that we simply want different things out of life. I want to excel at my career, take on extracurricular activities, travel, and stay active. He is content working at his current job, and he is much more of a homebody than me. I'd love to move somewhere exotic for a few years and I think that is that last thing he'd ever want to do. At this point I think that no matter what, one of us is going to be unhappy with how our lives turn out.
So I guess I have two questions for you. The first is, how hard should this be? I find myself having more and more doubts about our marriage, resolving to "fix things" and "work harder," and just cycling back into complacency. Is that what people talk about when they say that "marriage is hard," or does this go deeper than that?
The second is, what do I do next? I can't imagine having the strength to sit him down and tell him I'm not in love with him anymore ... but at the same time I'm not sure that going slower and trying to work on our relationship first would accomplish anything, as I've tried that so many times in the past. Our lives are so intertwined (although we don't have kids) that the idea of breaking it off seems completely insurmountable. But at the same time I've come to the realization that I can't spend the rest of my life in this relationship. Help!

– What next, Quincy

A:"Is that what people talk about when they say that 'marriage is hard,' or does this go deeper than that?"
I'd say yes and yes.
Yes, marriage is hard. Many couples have to work to rediscover their spark after they've been in a relationship for more than a decade. But your issues go beyond excitement and attraction. You want to travel. He wants to stay home. You're no longer interested in the life that you designed for yourself in your early 20s.
It's time to tell your husband that you're worried about your future as a couple. You don't have to come right out and say, "I think I've stopped loving you." Just tell him what you want for your future and find out if any of it appeals to him. Maybe he'll surprise you and reveal a side of himself that you've never seen. Or maybe he'll say, "Thank goodness you said something. Can we separate now?" You say that he's your best friend. If that's the case, you guys might be able to come up with a plan that appeals to both of you.
At this point, it's not about working harder and squeezing out more love. It's just about honesty. You shouldn't be afraid to communicate. Not talking is scarier.
Readers? Is she missing a step here? Is she making assumptions about her husband's desires? What should she tell him? Is this what people mean when they say marriage is difficult? Help.

– Meredith

Friday, February 22, 2013

Sheryl Sandberg, The Complete Idiot

http://www.businessinsider.com/sheryl-sandberg-presents-mind-blowing-stats-about-how-and-why-women-hold-themselves-back-2013-2#

What this slide deck tells you is that men and women both expect men to earn more, take charge, conquer and get ahead. When they do not, it is a well-known fact that women are terribly disappointed with them and often divorce them. Families with male breadwinners are MUCH less likely to divorce.

The slide deck talks about how women are graduating college and graduate school in MUCH higher numbers than men, but are not achieving in the business world; you are supposed to think this is because some invisible hand is "holding women down."

I work at a tech firm and just got off a phone meeting with my female boss and her new boss (a female); my boss's old boss? Also female. The company's CEO? Female. Yeah. Guess they forgot to be held down.

The slide deck only hints at the truth: which is not always the case, but typically is, of course. Women DO hold themselves down and NO, this is NOT a bad thing. Women often fail to move higher because they have kids and decide they'd rather be involved more with their children at the cost of going a bit higher in their career. What makes them do this? An invisible hand?

No....

THE INSTINCT TO PROTECT AND REAR THEIR YOUNG.

Is that bad? I would say no. Disagree if you want to. Why isn't it bad? As many WOMEN will tell you; they wind up doing the bulk of parenting as it is; so why have to do both work and all the parenting!?!?!!?? Why not just let hubby break his back at work!?!?!?

Yeah, good idea ladies.

Women pair up with men and have kids. CEO is not their dream job; being mom, is.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Liberals on Parade

There is nothing wrong with helping people; but you'll find much greater success if you give people incentives and let them help themselves.

Or, "How Feminism is Nothing More Than Bitter, Angry Women"

How I stopped being an angry feminist - and started loving men

by: By Sarah Beaulieu
From:news.com.au
February 19, 2013 11:36am

Sarah has learned to love men with some kind people in her life. Picture: Sarah Beaulieu

SARAH Beaulieu, a social activist and founder of The Enliven Project - an anti-sexual violence campaign, shares her personal experience of making peace with hatred and learning to love.

I certainly had a lot of reasons to be angry. I was sexually assaulted. By a man. By two men, in fact. One of them was my own grandfather. The other was a high school friend. The aftermath of these experiences left me broken and betrayed, not knowing how to trust, love, or be loved.

I was angry. I listened to angry feminist folk music. I read and discussed feminist theory, patriarchy, and sexism. I was on the hunt to expose bad men, and because of that, I found signs of their bad-ness everywhere. Every look, every comment, every gesture was a sign: men were just rapists waiting to happen.

But I had it totally wrong. Even if one (rightly) assumes that men commit most sexual assaults, the truth is that most men are not rapists.

Of course, I had a right to be angry at the men who hurt me. But I didn't have a right to hold all men everywhere responsible for what happened to me. And by being angry, I was shutting down the possibility of love. As I became stronger and more whole, I opened my eyes to the love of men in my life. It was abundant.

For example, my brother steadfastly believed what happened to me and validated how much I was impacted by being molested. The simple act of witnessing me in my pain helped me heal. And so did the mac and cheese he made me when I was sad, and the hours of Nintendo-playing we did when I was too down to do anything else.

My husband taught me that love can be a constant fuel. He taught me that you can get angry, have conflict, resolve it, and love each other throughout. He taught me to love myself, and care for myself. He takes care of me despite my fierce independence.

He turns up the heat when it's cold. He walks the dog when I don't want to go outside. He puts gas in the car. He volunteers with White Ribbon Project, a group of men committed to ending sexual violence.

My best male friend from college was by my side through the darkest days of my healing journey.

After every therapy session, he helped me process what I was learning about myself. He saw me through the powerful emotions that went along with those lessons.

He told me he loved me 10 times a day. He stood by my side when I told my story for the first time in public at a Take Back the Night event on our campus. He learned that while he couldn't "fix" me, he could love me, and that his love would help me become whole again.

Simple acts of friendship and love are powerful tools that help survivors of sexual violence trust and heal. Men love survivors of sexual violence every single day.

Most men are horrified by sexual violence and its impact on those they love.

They want to help, but feel powerless - and afraid to say or do the wrong thing. If we want men to join the movement to end rape and sexual violence, we have to stop talking about all the things men do wrong, and start talking about all the things that men do right.

Monday, February 18, 2013

The Real State of the Union

So Much Easier to Think of Her as Innocent

It smelled fishy from the start.

THIS JUST IN

Missing Mom of 2 Found Dead in Turkey May Have Had Sinister Motives

Posted by Lindsay Mannering

on February 6, 2013 at 5:34 PM

What was the New York City mom of two doing in Istanbul, Turkey? The case surrounding Sarai Sierra is getting more and more interesting as more and more details emerge. She went missing on January 22, was found dead on February 2, and now investigators believe she was hanging around a "criminal element" in Istanbul and had a consensual affair with a man in Turkey whom she had previously met online.

Cops say that her husband, a bus driver, and her brother have been cooperative with the case, but noted there's a difference between that and "helpful." Her family still insists she travelled abroad alone, despite being very low on funds, to indulge her love of photography, but no one's so sure that's actually the whole story anymore.ause when a mother with little disposable income leaves her husband and her young children behind to take an expensive trip to an exotic location to shoot some graffiti, then winds up murdered by a blow to the head, some eyebrows are going to be raised. And that friend who bailed on Sierra at the "last minute"? Maggie Rodriguez spoke to the Post and said Sierra was aware during the early stages of planning the trip that she wouldn't be able to join her.

The stories are starting to unravel and things aren't quite as they seem. Hopefully, for the sake of Sierra's children, the truth will be uncovered.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Domestic Violence in the Relationship

Performed by her.

Of course, she sees no problem at all with this dysfunctional mess; good thing he didn't call the cops when she pushed him; he would've been the one arrested:

I wasn't invited

Print | Comments (987)Posted by Meredith Goldstein February 13, 2013 08:13 AM

0
3
66
E-mail

I don't know where this letter writer is from. So let's say ... Hingham.

Q:To make a long story short, my boyfriend Luke and I have been together for nearly two years, we've been living together for a year and a half, and we definitely have our problems. There has been cheating on both ends (one time each), he interrupts me a lot, I have a temper, and once I pushed him because he ditched me on New Year's Eve. Despite this, we have worked through the majority of our issues, and when things are good, they are *really* good. We both know that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together and intend on getting engaged later this year.

That being said, he has complained about me to his friends to the point where I am not welcome around them. He sees these people on a weekly basis, ditched me this past Christmas/New Year’s Eve to see them, and has told me he didn't want me around them until our relationship had improved. Well, now that it has, I have been making a real effort to get involved with his group. I apologized to his friends for any hard feelings or misunderstandings in the past, and made it clear that having the support of our family and friends is important to me. His friends seemed to be very receptive and I thought everything was cleared up.

Unfortunately, my boyfriend is at a wedding for his best friend -- the ring leader of the group -- to which I was not invited. I understand not being invited, as invitations went out before we had our little talk, but last night my boyfriend was told that there is an after-party at the groom's house, and the bride doesn't want me there because I'm not her friend. I think it is incredibly rude not to include me in this, as I am in a long-term, committed relationship with one of the groomsmen (and we live together!). This is ridiculous. We're all in our mid-late 20s and early 30s. How am I expected to be friends with these people if I'm constantly being told I'm not welcome, all because my boyfriend complained about me too much? He refused to press the issue, because he didn't want to cause drama on their wedding day, but if someone was that disrespectful to Luke, I wouldn't even *go* to the event! Despite some of the things that Luke has said/done to me, my friends know where the line is. I might vent to them, but they know not to speak ill of him in front of me. How can I make my boyfriend see that his friends are being disrespectful and that it is *not* appropriate for him to let his friends act that way toward me?

– Accepting Friends

How Bad Is It? This Bad.

Sister In Open Marriage Takes Sharing Too Far

By Abigail Van Buren | Dear Abby – 10 hrs ago

DEAR ABBY: My daughters are attractive young women, both doing well in their professional careers. "Melanie," who is 27, is married to "Sam," an extremely attractive and successful man.

My 30-year-old daughter, "Alicia," has been divorced for a year. Her marriage failed two years ago because she and her husband had an appetite for sex outside their marriage. While I was disturbed about that, I was horrified to learn that Melanie allows her sister to occasionally have sex with Sam.

Melanie's argument is that Sam is less likely to cheat given this situation. When I asked her and Sam about it, he said it wasn't his idea. My current husband says any man who would refuse this "set-up" would be nuts. Alicia claims she "doesn't have time" to date right now, and after she finishes her MBA, she'll seek out a more normal relationship.

I am distraught about this mess. Melanie says she wants to start a family soon. She says she loves Sam, who can "handle everything," and she enjoys seeing "everyone happy." She says Alicia won't sleep around now and, maybe, one day she'll marry a handsome man like Sam who will "return the favor"!

I can't believe these girls are my daughters. Should I continue to protest or let it go? Is this relaxed attitude about sex prevalent in young people today? I cannot understand Melanie's lack of desire to defend her turf. -- HEARTBROKEN MOM IN FLORIDA

DEAR MOM: Your daughters appear to be into the concept of open marriage. Clearly, they do not view marriage and relationships the same way you do.

Melanie is naive to think that encouraging Sam to have a sexual relationship with her sister will discourage him from seeking other partners. Far from it. And as for her wanting to start a family, has she considered what will happen if her husband impregnates Alicia at the same time -- or first?

But back to your question: Are you right to protest? You certainly are. That's what mothers are for -- to inject a dose of sanity when everyone around her is losing theirs.

DEAR ABBY: The other day at work, my girlfriend overheard a group of people in the break room talking about what they'd do first if they won the lottery. Without exception, everyone in that room said the first thing they would do is get a divorce. My girlfriend was stunned.

Have you ever done an informal reader survey on this subject? Is the state of marriage in America really that bad? I'm also curious if answers would differ along gender lines. Let me know what you think, and thanks. -- HAPPILY SINGLE BUT STILL A BELIEVER IN MARRIAGE

DEAR HAPPILY SINGLE: No, I have not done a reader survey on this subject. But I'm glad you asked, because I think what your girlfriend heard is a sad commentary on the state of the marriages of her co-workers. Readers, if you'd care to chime in on this, I'm sure it would be enlightening.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

Thursday, February 07, 2013

Its Called RESPONSIBILITY

And women are never supposed to have any; no matter what. Just excuses. When a man doesn't take responsibility everyone just shakes their head at him.

If I were to suggest Rihanna had ANYTHING to do with getting beaten REPEATEDLY, everyone would scream at me and tell me I am "blaming the victim." Well, here she in in court for the 3rd time, standing by the man that beats her and will continue to do so; but go ahead and tell me I'M a jerk and that Rihanna had and continues to have no choice in the matter. A beautiful pop star simply MUST be with a batterer. I guess Beyonce didn't get that memo.

She’s a disgrace to women

By ANDREA PEYSER
Last Updated: 2:53 AM, February 7, 2013
Posted: 1:58 AM, February 7, 2013

Andrea Peyser

Young women, I beg you — don’t be like Rihanna!

The ravishing songstress and Bad Example for Girls waltzed into an LA court yesterday with her past and present and, I guess, forever boyfriend, Chris Brown, who isn’t man enough to pick on men or dames his own size.

Smiling as she walked in, she blew a kiss in Brown’s direction. RiRi came to stand by the man who once pummeled her face into a bloody mess for the lamest of reasons. Rihanna had confronted Brown about racy texts from random babes.

But yesterday, she walked into the courtroom as if saying, That’s OK! Every man gets a freebie.

With young women wanting to grow up to be Rihanna, this is a disgrace.

Brown showed up in the downtown LA court, where the state of California has expended scads of expensive court time, zillions of man hours and a forest-worth of paper to avenge the songstress for the bloody bruising Brown inflicted on her noggin in 2009.

For there was Rihanna, trailing Brown like an idiot puppy. She was not there to glare at her man, or give him a richly deserved smack upside the head.

RiRi instead engifted Brown with a little lovin’ before he faced a judge.

She humiliated herself.

She embarrassed all women.

Then she sat in the gallery beside Brown’s mom, Joyce Hawkins, in a show of support so vile, RiRi seemed to be telling the world that women secretly deserve to be punished.

Is this lady begging to be treated like well-dressed dog meat from a guy so wimpy and weird he can’t fathom waling on adult males?

Brown was in court to answer prosecutors’ charges that he faked records for the community service he was supposed to perform in his native Virginia, ironically as punishment for the felony assault of Rihanna. Cheating, whether on community labor or on a woman, seems part and parcel of Brown’s character.

I had nearly forgotten how starstruck and accommodating LA judges can be to celebrity morons.

I almost gasped in 2009, watching as Judge Patricia Schnegg awarded Brown a get-out-of-jail-free card — sentencing him to a slap on the wrist: five years’ probation and six months of “labor’’ in Virginia for a crime that would put away an ordinary hood for several years.

Then the judge praised Brown like a young, star-struck girl.

“I think it is commendable you took responsibility for your conduct.’’

Really? Why not send him to bed with milk and cookies? This is LA, where if you have a big enough name and enough money, anything is possible.

With kid-glove treatment like this, it’s no wonder that Brown thinks he can do no wrong.

Brown is accustomed to having women throw themselves at his head. And with her “kick me’’ attitude, Rihanna is setting an example I wouldn’t want my daughter to see.

There is no excuse for a man using a girl as a punching bag.

There is no excuse for a woman flaunting her abuse to save him.

Chris Brown already got away with using his fists to rearrange Rihanna’s face. And Rihanna has rewarded him for it.

He kept his lady, his recording contract, his fame and, among men with anger issues who think women ask for it, he kept his reputation. If Rihanna forgives him, why can’t the rest of us?

I’ll tell you why. He’s a chicken who can’t even seem to do a lick of work.

RiRi, if you want to make yourself into a fool, keep it away from impressionable girls who aspire to be just like you.

I’ve lost any respect I ever had for you.

andrea.peyser@nypost.com

Sunday, February 03, 2013

Commercial Sex Appeal, Aimed at Men

This has been going on for about 80 years; it makes women feel bad about themselves for not being slim and sexy and it makes men all the more aroused, but of course the result is always the same: confused girls who are having sex they later regret, and testosterone-hypercharged young men who are are confused as to why the girls they slept with didn't realize their sex was about little more than that:

Girls Rule, Boys Drool

Sporty and bikini-clad, these 10 out of 10 daredevils mean business as they jump from seriously spooky heights in beautiful Bermuda. Their hijinks don't stop there as they kite surf, wash that brand new sports car and provide some serious laughs with some Bad Bear Safety Tips!

Big Air Kite Surfing

Kate Upton Goes Slow…Motion

Hilariously Bad Bear Safety Tips