Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Wait, You Think She Should be Held.....ACCOUNTABLE!?!?!?! WHAT?
In terms of marital fidelity, Tiger Woods is apparently a two-timing cheating douchebag; which must be stated explicitly off-the-bat.
Notwithstanding his gigantic marital ’shank-o-potamus’ infidelity woes, the one majorly-overlooked legal aspect of the recent Tiger Woods salacious saga is the legal debate on the potential ‘domestic abuse’ implications of this case.
With more and more women coming forward about their alleged trysts with Tiger- including an $8-an-hour diner waitress at a local Perkin’s restaurant in Florida- it is becoming more and more clear that Tiger is not the ‘golden boy’ that his PR team has spent diligently trying to create and protect.
Because not only has he cheated on his wife, but he has also cheated on his two young children: Daughter Sam Alexis (2 years old) and his even younger 10-month-old son Charlie Axel.
You cheat on your wife; you cheat on your babies.
Simply put; marital infidelity of any kind against your spouse (and your children) is completely inexcusable; but ‘domestic violence’ of any kind is also equally inexcusable in our American legal system, regardless of the gender of the abuser.
For those of us in the universe who have seen this HILARIOUS animated ‘re-creation’ of the Tiger Woods saga below by Taiwanese television, there are two possible ‘animated’ scenarios about what transpired that one infamous evening in question:
(HINT: You do NOT have to speak a word of Chinese to love and appreciate the absurdity of this YouTube video)
Now, moving on to the law in Florida relating to ‘domestic abuse’ and spousal violence…
Notwithstanding the fact that millions of people may (rightfully) believe that Tiger had deserved ‘to get his ass whooped’ for his many marital transgressions; let’s flip the script for one moment and imagine that it was his wife Elin who had been hypothetically cheating on Tiger and that her hypothetical facial lacerations/injuries were caused when Tiger had beaten the crap out of her with a golf club after finding out about her extra-marital affairs and cheating.
In that hypothetical flipping-of-the-script, would any of us be talking about the steamy details about her lovers?
Would we be talking about dumb-ass text messages and voicemails that she may have sent to her lovers in this hypothetical scenario?
Let’s be honest; we would ONLY be talking about domestic abuse and how the police should throw Tiger’s ass in jail for ‘domestic violence” for beating his wife with a golf club and causing those injuries.
This is where our American ‘domestic abuse’ double-standard may come into play.
You see; because of Florida’s very strict domestic-violence laws, admitting to the police “that [his wife Elin] Nordegren in any way harmed him would virtually guarantee that the glamorous Elin would be led out of their mansion in handcuffs, even if he protested it…”
In 1991, Florida became one of many states to set up a pro-arrest policy in domestic-violence cases. For years, women’s rights advocates had complained that police treated domestic-violence cases as “private family matters” and assumed the abused spouse (usually women) would never follow through and press charges against their abusers.
Let us also remember; there have been scores of men who have also been victims of domestic abuse from their crazy-ass violent abusive wives and girlfriends.
Although the overwhelming majority of domestic abusers are certainly men, let us also not forget the much-smaller (but equally-reprehensible) pantheon of celebrity female abusers:
Tawny Kitaen, the chick from the Whitesnake videos charged in 2002 with committing domestic violenceagainst her then-husband major league baseball pitcher Chuck Finley of the California (now Anaheim) Angels; the infamous Tonya Harding, the ex-Olympic ice skater who allegedly threw a hubcap at her former boyfriend; Ms. Kim Mathers (the slightly-demented true love of Eminem); and Mrs. Brynn Hartman, the wife of legendary Saturday Night Live comedian Phil Hartman, who murdered him in their marital bed and then killed herself in May 1998.
And of course, Mrs. Lorena Bobbitt; who became famous in the annals of human history for cutting off the ‘Tiger Wood’ of her husband and then subsequently tossing it out of her car window during a leisurely drive.
So again; let’s hypothetically flip the script for a moment.
If Elin had hypothetically cheated on Tiger instead and it was found out that he had beaten the crap out of her with a golf club, would we as a society be obsessed with her fictitious extra-marital lovers and saying that she probably ‘deserved’ the beating?
We would rightfully be throwing Tiger’s ass in jail for ‘domestic abuse’ and seeing his mug-shot within our global cyberspace with the magical (and seemingly ubiquitous) TMZ.com watermark circulating through our viral airwaves.
Yes; anyone who cheats on their spouse (and their own children) is a douchebag; you will never see any debate here.
But, if it is officially found out that his wife beat the crap out of him; then why the domestic abuse ‘double-standard’?
If women and men are truly equal, then shouldn’t potential ‘domestic abusers’ of both genders be treated equally under the law as well?
Or do we as Americans only consider it ‘domestic abuse’ when a man beats the living crap out of his wife?
And not vice versa.